The Logic in Flying

So, here i am again, in one of the many airports of the world, luggage in hand, everything in place, ready for yet another journey. To me, the process of going through a trip is very logical and organized, like many things in my life, but this is by far the epitome of all logical processes.

It starts with booking the ticket, i know what’s good and not in each different kind of airplane, i know that aisle seats are always more comfortable for my long legs and desire to have extra room to move around, i also know that depending on where i am flying to, the time of the flight is crucial, especially if i am traveling for work. Booking the last flight of the day is usually the stupidest thing to do, and booking flights with connections in famous tourist spots is also the worst nightmare you can ever have.

Once the ticket is done comes the logistics of the ride to the airport, depending where you’ll be or the time of the departure it makes a huge difference to take a private car, a taxi or the subway. The process of the trip for me begins on the morning of the departure, after my bags are packed, because i may have to go to work and from there to the airport, or not, it’s all craziness, even when I’m packing the bag there needs to be some logic, and to me it’s so logic now, that it never takes me more than fifteen minutes to get it done.

So, here i am, outside the airport, probably already checked in via the internet, because i know that it’ll save me time, since I’ll be able to skip all those first time travelers or families with their children and 20 bags spread out all over the place and taking the time of five different airline representatives to be able to check in. So, i skip all that, i print my luggage tag, drop the bag into what i like to call the black hole – because even though i never had any lost luggage, you never know when it could be your first time, and it’s quite amusing to me how a bag can get lost in a direct flight between New York and Miami, i can never wrap my head around it, how is it possible to loose someone`s luggage on such an easy direct flight? Anyways, as long as it`s not mine or of any of my travel companions it’s none of my business. – After i`m done with the black hole thing, it`s time to cut to the chase.

After all my travelings i realized that it’s always better to simply get to the airport in advance, and get to the gate as early as possible, not only you know you definitely are boarding your flight, but you’re also there to seize any sort of opportunity that might appear, to either get upgraded, or move seats, or if you’re on vacation, get your hands on that exquisite credit voucher and board the next flight in first class! So, passport and ticket out in hands opened on the correct page and ready for inspection. While waiting for security check, since it’s an unavoidable pain, i observe the x-ray lines, searching for the one with the usual businessman, the occasional student or the ones that are packing lighter, as these are always faster and ready for the process. I mean, what`s so difficult about the x-ray? All you have to do is take your shoes off, jacket, belt if any, and get that laptop out of it`s casing and into a separate tray. The process is extremely basic and all over the posters, all over the airport, a five year old could do it in a heart beat, but apparently some people can`t seem to understand that you need to leave your metals in the tray and they keep trying, once, twice, even four times… well, God apparently wasn’t fair with everyone when it comes to brains! I, personally, have my system: shoes that are easy to take in and out, never wearing any belt or metals, and all my electronics are in my jacket`s pockets, therefore, once i take the jacket off and place it in the tray, i don`t have to think about anything else, and that will leave me with two trays, one for the laptop and the other one for my shoes and jacket, and of course my bags; three items that will be easily reorganized after they go through the eyes of security.

From than on, it’s all a piece of cake until you’re boarded, because nobody deserves to be stuck in an airplane’s aisle while Mr. 75 year old fisherman decides clumsily how he’s going to fit his large sized materials and bags in such limited space, or even those truly selfish ones that see 50 people behind them holding heavy bags waiting to find their seats while this person decides what to do with the insanely over sized “carry-on” bags, that shouldn’t even have been allowed on board to begin with. The flight attendants though, will only rush for assistance once the first passenger waiting in line speaks up, than it`s like the gates of hell are open, everyone has an opinion, even the ones that are sitting down with their luggage properly accommodated. There is a logic to these things, and it is so deeply obvious, that`s why these sizing rules were made, so that everyone could have enough room for their bags, so that everyone can simply walk into the airplane, throw their luggage in the overhead bins and sit down to watch a movie.

Isn’t it a delight when one can simply get things done like that? When you can simply sit and observe the craziness of the illogical people? To me it`s unnerving, i sometimes just want to get up, grab one of those illogical by the arm and shake them up to see if i can put their brains back in order – “lady! what part of placing your roller bag wheels out don`t you understand? Wheels out is not sideways, it’s WHEELS OUT, which means the frigging wheels are going to be facing you, so that the other passenger has enough room to place his bag next to yours, get it??!!?”. And that`s not the only thing; everyone knows, that until you depart it`s so much easier and faster for the crew if you keep your seat-belt fastened, your seat in the upright position and your electronic devices turned off, because that will speed things up, and you know for a fact that you do not have enough time to watch a movie or calmly listen to some music and take a nap anyways – The flight attendant will wake you up for departure if your seat is reclined sir, isn’t that obvious? don’t you know it’s the most ancient requirement for departures and landings?? And why haven’t you still turned your ipod and blackberry off? Why do you have to wait until the flight attendant screams at you to turn it off otherwise you’re going to crash down the airplane??? If you wanna die why don’t you just jump off the Empire State Building? It`s easier, faster, cheaper and if you kill someone else it won`t be more than one person, as opposed to an entire airplane… cool? – i mean, i wish the flight attendants could be more rude or sarcastic sometimes, I’m pretty sure that that kind of people really need to get a clue, not a flight!
Anyways, there’s logic pretty much in everything we do in our day to day lives, of course i don’t really pay attention to it most of the times, but if there is one thing that needs to follow a very logical process, that one thing is traveling, after all, you just want to get from point A to B as fast and painless as possible and be able to enjoy every minute of it.
So, once i start my airline you will surely be able to sit back and fly safe, and if anyone is annoying you, they are sure to get their piece of clue coming their way!

Author: Gabriel Ruas Santos Rocha

writes for passion, eats for pleasure, travels for wonder.

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