In the process of growth you go through adolescence, think you have it all figured out, go through what seems to be love, but it’s nothing more than infatuation, than you grow up, or what represents the beginning of being an actual grown up, and it finally hits you: you are in love.
No one prepares you for romantic love, it’s the one thing that no one can explain or understand, it’s the kind of experience that will fill your heart with joy and than crush you down into a million pieces, over and over again. The reality of being in love and what no one seems to accept, is that disappointment is included in the package deal, you get the looks, the personality, the companionship, the nights of winter by the fire, and the summer days sitting in the front porch watching the waves crash against the sand, but you also get the tiny little downsides too, and your partner gets the same, after all honey, we are all human beings subject to flaws. Sometimes there are so many little annoying things in there, adding up to a mountain of error, that it makes you wanna scream, it drives you mad, it gets you to say things that should remain unsaid, and sometimes gets you to do things that should never be done, because they will cause so much pain that you feel like your heart is being torn apart by a dinosaur.
How you overcome or balance those little problems in order to maintain a healthy relationship is the key, dialogue, item that’s in lack of these days, is the key, right next to a lot of patience, understanding and tolerance. If you are able to see problems ahead of you and deal with them, and also realize that your lover is also putting up with many little things and being very understanding, than you’re off to a keeper.
The beginning though, is the key, because in the beginning there is only so much you can do with the very little information you have about this other person. You don`t know if this is someone who likes text messages during the day, or if maybe it’s someone that prefers to talk on the phone for hours, or maybe someone that will tell you to go out with your friends and they can join you too, as it would be great to meet the people who surround you in order to get to know you better, it’s complicated, these things you can only figure out with time, and these days, time seems to be the problem.
More and more i feel like people don’t give enough time for the relationships to mature into something consistent, people just jump off the boat at the first sign it’s rocking; and the problem is that like boats need stability in order to stop rocking, so do the relationships. If a person is late or takes what seems to be forever to answer your missed phone call, what does it mean? Well, probably nothing, but it’s simply the fact that everyone responds differently or that everyone is different and lead extremely different lives; so, being suspicious or anxious will not help, it makes what should be a joyful period become a nerve wracking process, actually, it turns a natural relationship curve into a process, almost mechanical, and it shouldn’t be.
The little ups and downs of the beginning are defining and essential, they will tell which direction the relationship will take, they will show how compatible the couple is, how in tune they are with each other, and they will be the base of a solid and long term relationship. How you handle your problems in the beginning of the relationship is probably the same way you’ll do it throughout the whole experience, and not only that, but those moments of discovery will show the real personality and interaction of the couple.
So, the reality is that sometimes you need to mature, not only the relationship, but yourself, after all, you may be 25, 45 or 65, but you will always have something new to learn and add up into your life. As long as you’re open to experiment with yourself before anything else, you should be able to enjoy the ride and grow alongside your relationship… Try it, it should be fun.